Soccer Dragonlance Style
by Dragon of Frozenflame
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if all your favorite Dragonlance charchers got together for a game of soccer? This is what grey kitty and I thought of. GREY KITTY, HUMOR ALL THE WAY!


Hey everyone grey kitty's been nagging me to put this on, so here goes! By the way the all capital letters is the announcer, and the bold is the team listings. Enjoy!

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GET READY FOR LAUGHS, AT THE BIG GAME TODAY, IT'S THE MAGIC DEAD RATS GULLY DWARF TEAM, AGINST THE GOLDEN DRAGON KENDER TEAM!

"I know where I am you little explosive geniuses! And give me back my hat!" an elderly mage in mouse-colored robes, wearing a disreputable, tattered old hat (on his head) cried, "Now, where are we? Oh, yes, at the field. Yes lets see who's playing…" The befuddled wizard leaned toward the billboard, squinting in an attempt to read the team listings for the game, nearly falling over in the process.

**The Golden Dragons****Kender Team **

**Captain- Laurana Kith-kanan**

**Goalie- Riverwind #45**

**Mascot- Pyrite**

**Team-**

**Tasslehoff Burrfoot #8**

**Trapspringer Furrfoot #4 **

**Kronin Thistleknot #40 **

**Eiderdown Packslinger #55 **

**Earwig Lockpicker #0**

**The Magic Dead Rats****Gully Dwarf Team**

**Captain- Raistlin Magior**

**Goalie- Caramon Magior #47 **

**Mascot- Bupu's dead rat**

**Team-**

**Bupu #2**

**Raf #2**

**Rounce not #2**

**Highbulp Phudge I #2**

**Burp #2 (grey kitty and I made him up.)**

**Other-**

**Referee- Tanis Half-elven**

**Refreshments- Tika Wayln/Magior**

**First-Aid- Goldmoon**

**Head of Construction- Flint Fireforge**

"MY _SHAFI _IS LEADING A TEAM OF GULLY DWARVES!!!!" Dalamar yelled, gaping in disbelief. The dark elf was not easily surprised, but this had the black-robed mage startled out of his socks. (If he had them, I don't know!)

"Ya got that right lad." Dougan Redhammer said, still reading the board, "Flint got construction work huh? Good for him, he doesn't have to go around trailing gnomes, girls and mages! Especially that one!" he roared, pulling Fizban out the way of the gully dwarves, who were practicing their kicks, just in the nick of time.

"Did I just hear right?" Palin inquired, standing next to Usha, his eyes were as wide and disbelieving as Dalamar's, who was still gaping at the board. "Is my uncle coaching gully dwarves?"

"Well,thatkinder,Tas,oncetoldmethegullydwarvesreallylikedRaistlin,andthatoneevenfellinlovewithhim,butitcouldbejustkinderdrabble…" Said Gnosh, one of the two gnomes in the party.

"WHAT?!" everyone in the party (except the two gnomes) yelled.

"He said, 'Well, that kinder, Tas, once told me the gully dwarves really liked Raistlin, and that one even fell in love with him, but it could be just kinder drabble'!" said Girmish, the second gnome in the party, speaking at a snail's pace, and sounding rather exasperated.

Mummers of 'Oh' followed this. And 'Could ya speak a little slower?' And such.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a roar of 'GO HUMA!!!!!!!!!!' erupting from the mouth of an ancient golden dragon.

"GO HUMA!!!!!!!!" the old dragon roared once more.

"He does realize that's not Huma, right?" said Eiderdown, "And that Huma died 3,000 years ago?"

"I don't think so. Let's go tell him," replied Kronin.

The two kender approached their mascot, and Eiderdown called up to him, "Umm…Pyrite, that's not Huma."

"He died 3,000 years ago," explained Kronin, "That's Tas, he borrowed Sturm's armor for the big game. He said he'd always wanted to play soccer in armor."

"Huma's dead?!!" the elderly dragon said, looking about as surprised as dragons get. His expression soon changed into a look of anger as he roared "WE SHALL AVENGE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!"

WELL SAID, PYRITE, AND THE GAME BEGINS! LOOK THERE GOES #2!... AND JUST WATCH #2 GO!… #2 IS SHOOTING DOWN THE FIELD!… IS THAT NOT #2 PLAYING IN THAT MUD PUDDLE? OH, WAIT, THAT'S WET CEMENT… (As soon as flint heard the announcer say a gully dwarf was playing in the wet cement he had just put down an hour ago, he ran over to the gully dwarf, waving his battle ax, and yelling some none-too-kind things that caused mothers to cover their children's ears.)… #2 HAS THE BALL AND…GOAL!!!!!! BUT WAIT, ISN'T THAT HIS TEAM'S GOAL? (By the way, I'm not talking about the same gully dwarf over and over, look at the team listings, notice how all the gully dwarves' numbers are 2?)

NOW, LET'S CHECK IN ON THE GOLDEN DRAGONS… HEY! WHERE'S THE BALL?!! THERE IT IS! IN THAT KENDER'S POUCH!!!!!!

Tanis strode over to #4 (AKA Trapspringer Furrfoot), and stuck his hand in one of the kender's numerous pouches that hung all over Trapspringer (the one that was currently soccer ball shaped), while Trapspringer tried to tell Tanis that he didn't have the ball. When Tanis pulled the black and white ball from the pouch and raised an eyebrow questioningly, #4 assumed a shocked expression, "I had no idea that was in there," he exclaimed, "You must have drooped it, aren't you glad I found it?" Tanis merely shook his head and returned the ball to the game.

WELL, GLAD WE GOT THAT SETTLED! HEY, LOOK! IS THAT #8 (Tasslehoff P.S. if you don't know who that is there is no help for you) RUNNING AROUND IN PLATE ARMOR? (At that moment Sturm ran onto the field in his underwear and starts to chase Tas around yelling, "I'm going to fry you, you little rat!" To this Tas replied in his high-pitched voice, "No, the gully dwarves are the rats! Well, actually, they're the Magic Dead Rats; I'm on the Golden Dragons team! And I'm all ready frying! Do you have any idea how hot it is in here?" Sturm's response was to jump with a roar at the kender, which Tas narrowly missed. The two soon continued the chase.)

By now several other gully dwarves-Raf, Highbulp, and Burp-had joined Rounce in the wet cement (the only reason Bupu had not joined was because she was looking for her dead rat, the team's mascot), which had dried creating gully dwarf sculptures (much to Flint's…displeasure…). The kender eagerly examined their cemented rivals, adding to the collection already formed in their pouches.

"What's that tiny black and white thing out there?" Fizban asked looking through the binoculars Gnimish had given him (Gnimish's inventions actually work even though he's a gnome).

"First of all, that's the ball. And second of all, it's not really that small, you're just looking through the binoculars backwards." Gnimish said as he turned the binoculars around for the mage.

"Oh… I knew that," said the mage, "So, that's the ball? It still isn't very big. I know a spell for a fireball, now that would be much better!" Gnimish was about to tell him he had the binoculars backwards again but the befuddled wizard rose to his feet, and tripping on his robe. After recovering he walked off to Palindine knows where (Oh wait that would mean Fizban knows where he's going, but most likely he doesn't).

"Hey if he gets to improve the ball then we should be able to improve (the dreaded word when spoken by gnomes) the net!" Gnosh pointed out.

Gnimish brightened immediately and set off after Gnosh.

Dougan snored through every thing.

All of a sudden a fireball erupted out of no where, burning any one who couldn't get out of the way fast enough, and the two nets exploded, revealing two gnomes taking notes and babbling so fast no one could understand them.

The game ended with Sturm still chasing Tas around in his underwear, four gully dwarf statues (Which Tika was trying to crack by hitting each statue on the head with her skillet), an enraged Flint, a snoring Dougan Redhammer, and golden dragon (Pyrite) doing likewise, two smoking gnomes (I mean they're on fire), four happy kender with their pouches stuffed with 'borrowed' items, a joyful Bupu skipping around the field swinging a dead rat, a worried Goldmoon running about the field trying to heal those who had been injured (By either Fizban's fireball, the explosion of the two nets, or Tika's skillet), While Tanis was trying to catch the kender to make them give back the items they had 'borrowed', and a confused mage (Fizban) trying to find his missing hat that was on top of his head, everyone else had either gone home or was rolling on the ground laughing hysterically.

AND THE WINNER IS… FIZBAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Where!?" The old mage cried.

"YOU'RE FIZBAN!!!" everyone on the field chorused, startling poor Fizban.

"I am?" he said in disbelief.

YOU ARE, NOW COME UP HERE AND GET YOUR TROPHY!!

And so Fizban started to walk home-only to realize he couldn't remember where he lived-wearing the trophy on his head and carrying his hat in his arms (having mistaken the trophy for his hat and his hat for his trophy).

AND THEY SAY THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A HAPPY ENDING!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Whew! Glad I wore my smiley-face sweatband this is the longest story I've ever typed! (You don't want to know about the longest one I ever wrote!)

Did ya like it? If you did then click the little purple box down there and tell me.


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